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COUPLES
Effective Couples Therapy • Experiential Focus • Greater Intimacy

EFFECTIVE COUPLES THERAPY

I focus on the present concerns that couples want to address, which often include difficulties around:

  • Communication
  • Emotional Intimacy
  • Sexuality
  • Money and Finances
  • Cross Cultural Differences
  • Addictions
  • Parenting Styles
  • Premarital Counseling

Of course, your particular concerns will be uniquely expressed in your relationship. So, while we will address the specific issues you struggle with, I’ll pay attention to how you are talking, not just what you are talking about. Working at this level will help you develop clearer, effective communication, increasing your confidence to address whatever challenges arise. In doing so, I’ll also help you identify and build on the strengths you already have in your relationship.

EXPERIENTIAL FOCUS

Sometimes, the most effective way to change the dynamics that are causing tension in our relationship is to first understand the ways our own family histories have shaped our assumptions about relationships, and our own relationship habits. Even when exploring past influences, however, my work is focused in the here and now—how the patterns and tendencies of our past show up in the present, and how they are alive in the room. In this crucial way, my work is very experientially focused.

I take an active role in my work with couples, so that you don’t simply rehash the conflicts you’re already having. I’ll help you process and move through past grievances, and will teach you how to communicate so that your partner will be naturally inclined to listen and respond with an open attitude

GREATER INTIMACY

I often find that couples are actually afraid of experiencing the very intimacy they crave. The truth is, we may feel vulnerable to open up, but that’s also where the richness of relationship lies. In our work, therefore, I’ll provide guided support to help you experience relating to each other in new ways.

My work with couples is heavily influenced by Stan Tatkin’s Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT) and Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT), as well as Terry Real’s Relational Life Therapy (RLT) and Rob Fisher’s Mindfulness-Based Couples Therapy. 

From these models, I’ll help you understand the principles underlying a secure functioning relationship; gain understanding of your attachment style and how to work with your partner’s; be more aware of how you show up in the relationship; learn skills to talk without eliciting your partner’s defenses and to repair arguments effectively. 

Please contact me if you’d like a free phone consultation to discuss how I can be of help. 

A deep, intimate connection inevitably brings up all our love wounds from the past.
To evolve spiritually, we have to allow these unworked hidden, messy parts of ourselves to come to the surface.
— John Welwood

In essence the practice is always the same: instead of falling prey to a chain reaction or revenge or self-hatred, we gradually learn to catch the emotional reaction and drop the story lines.
— Pema Chodron

 

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